At The End Of The Day…

I’ve always believed, that no matter what happens in life, at the end of the day, if you can look in the mirror and can honestly say that you like the person who’s staring back at you, that’s all that really matters…that’s all that’s really important. So, what do you do when that axiom doesn’t hold true…what happens when you no longer like the person in the mirror…what do you do when you no longer know the person staring back at you? I wish I had the answers to these questions.

My life was defined by things that no longer have any meaning…things that no longer exist. It should be obvious to all of you that things around here are no longer smiles and sunshine. It seems as though, there is very little in this world that I understand anymore…there is very little that makes any sense to me. I have spent twenty-six years on this majestic blue marble…twenty-six years…and I’d trade it all…just to end this pain. I’m dying inside…I just…I just want the pain to go away. I feel dead to the world…and I’m beginning to think that I’d be better off if I were…I was doing so well…honest.

Smiles and Sunshine will be going away for a while…I feel really stupid trying to tell the world how it should be…when clearly my world is not as it should be. We live in a world of equal parts beauty and chaos…and at the end of the day…I’ve lost sight of all of its beauty. Goodbye.