The Wondering Age...

With several friends having birthdays, and mine looming in the not too distant future, I think it's time to take a step back from things and examine my life...again. I think that it's important to stop every so often and take stock of one's self. It's like this, if you spend too much time examining the fine details, sometimes you miss the big picture, that is, life might past you by. At the same time, if your always focusing on the big picture, you miss some of the finer details, that is, you'll miss out on the little things that make life worth living. And as you've probably guessed, if you can find that balance between the two extremes...it's definitely smiles and sunshine. Later.

Facts Not in Evidence

Fact: we're all going to die. And if it's as a result of something that I did, I'm ok with that. I can live with that. Actually, seeing as I'll be dead, I don't actually have to live with that, but you get the idea. But, when the demise of everyone is predicated on the incompetence or negligence of another, I have to take issue with that...I mean come on! That's just irresponsible. Later.

Home is Where...

...I keep all my stuff. :)

Well, even though I still sleep in the living room, the apartment is really starting to feel like home. :) I cooked my first meal there last night. A major milestone, if I do say so myself. In any event, it's been a while junior detectives, so I thought I'd take a moment and let you know who's who and what's what. Speaking of which, my friend at work...she has this naughty librarian thing going on today. Very sexy! She's gonna let me look at her reference materials a little later on, so work should be very interesting today. Yes. Smiles and sunshine...smiles and sunshine. I'll probably be back a little later. But, if not...stay frosty. Later.

Feelin' fine...

It's funny how things can change in the blink of an eye. Today was the first day that things have been genuinely smiles and sunshine for quite some time. Bask in it junior detectives...it doesn't get much better than this. Oh yeah!!! In any event, I hope that this feeling lasts for a while. I was starting to forget just what it was to feel happy. :) It's all good ladies and gentlemen...it's all good. Later.

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I've started watching the Showtime series Dead Like Me. Fantastic show. I highly recommend watching it if you get the opportunity. Other than that, not too much new in my world. The apartment is still slowly being finished...slowly being the operative word. Saw the Bourne Supremacy on Friday. Also, fantastic and worth seeing. Things haven't really been smiles and sunshine though...still not totally sure how to remedy that situation yet...that's ok though. I might go and buy Hellboy tomorrow...haven't decided yet. Maybe that will cheer me up...oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it all out. Stay frosty. Later.

DC's Uterine Wall

It has been brought to my attention, that DC is going through some extremely emotional stuff right now...having suffered a sudden miscarriage and all. Still, with all of that in mind, I find it disturbing that he would profane such slander and lies, in an attempt to cover up his grand misfortunes. Dare I say, it was definitely, a cold slap to the groin. But, they say that forgiveness is divine. So, DC...I forgive you. I can't say that I fully understand what you're going through right now. But, I am extending to you, the olive branch of peace, in the hopes that we can start an open and honest dialogue and help you work through this tremedously difficult period in your life. Instead of shutting us out, with your angry and hateful words, allow us, your f r i e n d s, to aid you, in this time of crisis. The trauma you've experienced is beyond belief. But DC, don't forget that we're here to help you and that...it's okay to cry.

This really blows...Pt. 2

It was windy again today...you know what that means. Yup. You guessed it. Messy hair. :) I'm sure that JE will back me up on this one. Anyways, nothing really exciting happened today...so far. I'm getting a screen door later toady. That's kinda cool...meh. I'm very tired and a little rattled right now...I'm out. Later.

Tales of Interest...or Uninterest...

It's been a while since I've last blogged. No internet will do that. But, I don't think of lack of internet as a hinderance...to some degree, it's been...freeing. :) Anyways, just when I thought I was on the mend, my knee was given a rather unfriendly introduction to the ground. Incidently, I've had problems with this knee in the past...so new injury...not so good. Oh well. So, the constancy of pain remains.

I just got home from work, and decided to give DC a call. Needless to say, DC was not there...apparently he took one of our good friends, GEKN, to the doctors. Keep in mind, that DC and GEKN are Ex's and that GEKN is now married. Also, KA, the g-friend, has been patiently waiting for DC to return for the past hour, hour and a half. Also, DC made a comment the other day, and I'd like to point out right now that this bit of information is here soley to further any and all speculation, that "GEKN is always willing to do something downtown" or something like. So, with all of that information, or lack there of, I'd like to wildy speculate for you:

1. DC took GEKN to the doctors.
2. DC and GEKN went to play doctor.
3. DC and GEKN have been playing doctor for sometime now and now have gone to the "baby" doctor.

So, what have we learned here? Either:

1. DC is a good friend who took his good friend GEKN to the doctors.
2. DC having a torrid love affair with a married woman.
3. DC has been having a torrid love affair with a married woman and has impregnated her. OR
4. DC and GEKN have been having a torrid love affair and DC is now pregnant. Taking GEKN to "the doctors" is simply a clever smoke screen. This of course would imply that DC is a woman...or at least has a uterus. I suppose that it would also imply that GEKN is a man or has a wang...or at least has testicles. :)

You read it...you can't unread it. Stay tuned for more: TALES OF INTEREST!!!

Now Serving...

Just got back from seeing Super Size Me. Terrific film. I'm still digesting it all. I'm sure I'll have more to say later...or maybe not.

Here's more Bender for you: "Maybe you can interface with my ass...by biting it!"

Good night junior detectives. I'm out. Later.

Bite My Shiny Metal Ass...

Bender: "So, do you know what I'm gonna do before I do it?"
God: "Yes."
Bender: "What if I do something different?"
God: "Then I don't know that."

-Godfellas, Futurama

Crazy Rain

Not to be confused with Crazy Train. There is stupid amounts of rain happening right...now. I'm a little afraid to go outside right now...rain might mess up my hair. :) Anyways, first night at the apartment went smoothly. It's all good. Smiles and sunshine, you might say. The rain is slowly getting worse...I think it might be a good idea to put in a call to my good friend Gilgamesh. Later.

Mission: Possible

Even with this constant pain, I've made it in...more or less. That's right, I've been able to infiltrate the CIA HQ in Langley, Virginia...ok, maybe not. All kidding aside though, I'm now in the apartment, as of about 10pm this evening. And while I'm sleeping in the living room...bottomline, I'm in the apartment. 'Bout time right? You said it. This might be a little premature, seeing as it's not quite finished, but I'd like to thank all of you who have help with the apartment. Be it with physical labour or you moral and emotional support. Kudos to you junior detectives.

It was a bit of a sad day at work today. One of the administrative assistants left the company. I have to say, that I'm sad to see her go and she will definitely be missed. Also, she wasn't too hard on the eyes. :) Seriously though, it's always sad when good people such as her take leave. And while, I got to know her a little better over the past few months, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to know her even better than that. But, she is hopefully moving on to bigger and better things. And we can't be anything but happy for her. I would definitely call her a friend. Good luck. It's been a pleasure. :)

On the flip side, LB got her contract extended for the third time. This trifecta of contract extensions, means that she will be staying into the new year. Congratulations. I'm overjoyed that she will be stay around for a while longer. Definitely a good thing when exceptional people such as her continue to bless me with their presence. Also, LB is definitely not hard on the eyes...dare I say, she's smokin' hot. So, with good news and bad news, the day was a little bitter sweet. But, I'd have to say on the whole...smiles and sunshine. :)

I am in constant pain...although, it seems to be getting better.

So, I think that I'm gonna head home soon. Good night junior detectives. Stay frosty. Later.

I am in constant pain...

My friend AD from LD HO, constantly reminds me that "existence is suffering". So, aside from the obvious pain of my own existence, added to that, the obvious pain of all of your existences, that I have to endure, plus the severe emotional pain I've experienced over the past few months, the pain I speak of is actually none of the above. Ulti was fun yesterday...for the most part. Unfortunately for me, I fubared my right ankle and wrist. Oh well. No pain, no gain right? Our first game, was against one of the least spirited teams (on average) in the entire VUL. This team has two people in particular who for lack of a better phrase, are total ass.

The first is the team's captain. A real piece of work. But, giving him more attention in this matter, would not only waste your my time, but also yours. The second person, I believe is the captain's girlfriend. She's...special. Rather, she's patronizingly nice. What she thinks is spirited, is actually skull-splittingly annoying. In fact, I commented to some teammates, how she makes me wish I were dead. That way, I would be a minimum of six feet farther away from her than the rest of you...that is, unless she were standing at my grave or something annoying like that. In any event, these two, especially the former, are great motivators. That is to say, we were movtivated to destroy them...on the scoreboard that is. And while, the score was a little closer than we would have liked, I think we made our point.

The second game was, as DC put it, a classic. Our opponents were short some people, so they asked if they could borrow some subs. So, JM and I graciously volunteered. In any event, playing against your own teammates, is an interesting and evocative exercise. And while, my new team and I were beaten quite severely on the scoreboard, JM and I played our hardest for our adopted team. It's all about the spirit junior detectives. I think we passed that test with flying colours. In any event, our second game, was played on a very rough field. The thing looked like it was used for live-round mortar shell practice. Anyways, over the course of the game, I slightly rolled both ankles, the right one more than the left, took a bullet of a shot off of my shin, and somehow sprained my right wrist...thus...I am in constant pain.

This really blows...

It was very windy outside today. It messed up my hair. :)

Experiencing Some Technical Difficulties...

I was going to post something insightful right now...but, Timmy has yet to restore the gentle chaos that is my mind. Too many incomplete thoughts continue to plague me. Nothing worse than being alone with your own thoughts...the lonliness feels...eternal. But, I'm sure that I'll get them all sorted out. Perhaps it's time to stop wallowing in my own chaotic, insecure delusions (TOOL, Forty-Six & Two).

I think that while I have your attention though, I'd like to tell you that the sentiment from yesterday's post has not carried over into today...that post was written in the heat of the moment...harsh words and spiteful tone, to be sure. I do not regret writing those words, they were appropriate for the time...that time has past.

And while some of those feelings remain, they were perhaps a blessing in disguise...a gentle reminder of the darkness that permeates my soul. So, I greeted the world this morning with a different outlook. I'm not saying that things are smiles and sunshine right now...far from it. The world is just more inviting when you greet it with a smile and not a scowl. :)

In any event, things were actually as close to smiles and sunshine as they could possibly be. Some tense and awkward moments, but all in all nothing to terrible. Thankfully, I have my colleagues to keep me relatively sane. :) Cause of them, I was able to escape the day relatively unscathed.

Anyways, I spent the better part of this evening, fixing grammar and spelling mistakes and adding appropriate links into all of my previous posts here on Smiles and Sunshine. Not exactly the most fun one could have, but all of those little mistakes were bothering me...thought I'd fix'em while I remembered. At the behest of a co-worker, I'm suppose to watch the Amazing Race 5 tonight. I've been told that the Amazing Race, is the best show on TV...I would probably argue that...but, I'll give my co-worker the benefit of the doubt until I've actually seen the show. I'm sure if it sucks, she'll hear about it from me tomorry. :) Cool. Stay frosty junior detectives. I'm out. Later.

Moving right along...

Easier said than done...but, when the realization and understanding hit you like a brick wall, there's no denying it. And while the path that I currently tread, has definite extended periods of smiles and sunshine, it occurs to me, that there must be a path where things are even smilier and sunshinier. And I know that I won't find it traveling down this road...so, I guess...I guess it's time to move on...

It's a difficult realization to have to come to...painful? Yes. Necessary...not sure. But, I can't just blindly stroll down this path, only to encounter disappointment after disappointment. I've lost faith, ladies and gentlemen...but, I guess that's because things are out of my hands. I've done all I can...and what little I have to show for it, except my heart splayed open on the ground in front of me. A bit harsh? Yes. But, that's the way it is junior detectives. This whole love thingy is kinda tricky...if someone out there has The Complete Idiot's Guide to Love or Love For Dummies, perhaps you could pass it on to me. :)

I guess I'm in a weird place right now...there are a lot of unfinished thoughts flying around in my head. But, I think that once Timmy is able to restore order, or to some degree...restores chaos, things will be smiles and sunshine once more...

[S]he was everything, everything that I wanted.
We were meant to be.
Suppose to be.
But we lost it...

All the memories so close to me,
Just fade away...
All this time you were pretending.
So much for my happy ending.

You were everything, everything that I wanted.
We were meant to be.
Suppose to be.
But we lost it...

All the memories so close to me,
Just fade away...
All this time you were pretending.
So much for my happy ending.
So much for my happy ending.
So much for my happy ending...

-Avril Lavigne, My Happy Ending

I seem to break out in song a lot...I wonder why? Oh well. Later.

Check out this fancy title...

Well...it's the final day of my five day weekend. What a fantastic day junior detectives...and while many of you did not participate in the day's festivities, you would be hard-pressed to disagree. This mini-holiday, has actually been fairly productive. But, when your only goal is to see Spider-Man 2 (AKA The Greatest Movie in the History of the Entire Universe)...not exactly a difficult list of things to accomplish...well, I am only four years-old. Whatcha gonna do, right? Hooray Spider-Man 2! WOOO!!! :)

The day started off nicely enough with a phone call. 'Nuff said. Continuing on, the morning and early afternoon, was capped off nicely with a Grecian victory at Euro 2004. Nicely done gentlemen. Post game celebrations, were limited to eating and setting up a board game. So, I got in a couple of long over due phone calls. Didn't get a hold of WR till later...who apparently trotted himself down to the Vancouver Jazz Festival this evening...I was able to get a hold of my good friend SL. That guy's a riot. Always an interesting conversation with SL. Anyways, after a rousing game of Settlers of Catan with DC, KA, TB and myself, the day hit a bit of a lull...filled with nine-ball, web-comic reading and a lot of "So, what do you want to do?". We decided on some Ulti. DC and I are Ulti junkies, I think...need to get a fix every day or so. So, I invited out a great friend whom I hadn't seen in quite some time...I think the last time I saw JS (not to be confused with JS AKA Callahan) was when WR, JS, and I went to see The Corporation.

Anyways, with the nice weather and all, JS needed an Ulti fix...and we were more than happy to oblige. :) It's nice catching up with old friends. We got to talk about all of the...important things...that had happened in the past few months. :) At the same time...I feel a little ashamed that I lost touch with her for a little while there. In any event, according to DC, he and I were "showing off" because of the two pretty ladies present. And while that may not be far from the truth...I like to go as hard in practice as I would in a game. That being said, maybe the showing off worked, cause on the way back to DC's house (DC and I walked, KA and JS drove back in JS' car), the ladies drove past and they hooted and hollered at us. I have to say that it's been a while since I was objectified...but, I'm not complaining...far from it...that's good stuff...smiles and sunshine, you might say. :) My only complaint would have to be that the ground was really dry and a little rough on the ol'legs...but, hey...if there's grass in the field, play Ulti, right? :)

All in all, a great day...in fact, it was groin-grabbingly great! :) On a somewhat ironic note, when I got home from the days festivities, my Mother was watching the Fourth of July fireworks on tv...what I found amusing, was that one of the songs playing during the fireworks was performed by a quartet of Canadians. That's good stuff. Ok...that's it for me. Hope you had yourselves a happy and a healthy. Good night junior detectives. May your coming week, be nothing but smiles and sunshine. Later.

How 'bout now?

Well, I'm down to the last two days of my five day weekend...it's gone pretty good so far, with the possible exception of the Dutch loss. I'm still reeling from Spider-Man 2. If you haven't seen it yet, go now!!! I won't mind. That being said, I think I will go buy Spider-Man 2 for my Gamecube tomorry. Someone needs to stop evil...and owning a Gamecube as I do, "with great power, comes great responsibility". So, while I could blame this on lack of willpower, I'm gonna blame Uncle Ben. :)

But, for all of you who are going to stick around and listen to me drone on, I thank you. Don't know that I have really much to say today...my day started out pretty ho-hum. But, it definitely picked up in the late morning. It's amazing how one person can affect you so positively. With just a simple hello...but, somehow it's more than that. I can't really explain it...but, whatever it is, it's all smiles and sunshine.

We took my father out for a belated Father's day dinner tonight. Great restaurant. El Caravan. Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cuisine. Fantastic food. Great atmosphere. The food was a tad on the expensive side, but, I really can't complain. Other than that, nothing much to report...although, it's been decided that my mere existence irritates DC. I don't know what to say...other than...*single tear*...I'm just...so happy. If only I used my powers for good...

Thanks for coming out. Later.